Excuse and postpone

It's 10 PM on the dot and I'm trying find an excuse not to write on my blog hell it's to late so wait another day for the ideas to flow and the fingers to type write what's in my mind but now I don't have the time nor the patience to free write everyword and idea, So sublime, so surreal, leave it be to the past and to the future the present is now. And here I live, in this time, you are so dear to me. You are my second chance. My romance, my whirlwind, my tornado, my everything. All consuming, in my mind, all the time, can't shake and I do not want to. It's not important, leave it alone, ignore and pretend it's okay but it's not because you take my breath away,  I'm drowning falling deeply pass, the sequence of time , the order of routine, just delve in you, just indulge. Got me strung and I can't even try to get off it. Stuck on you, every minute every day, breathing deeply, farther than you can believe don't push me away or am running away I don't know I couldn't care not one bit let me stay in this place of indecisiveness in the middle one more day not enough, a week not enough, until I get back to America not enough until I get that job until I learn how to drive until I settle in until I finish with school until I get married until I get pregnant Until.... overdose... flatline the door is closed and I took the road everyone usually takes so gone ooh it tingles God knows my heart

So yeah, I've been slacking. Yesterday I was a little sick so I did not write. But here is something to decipher. freewriting and I'm a little crazy in this one.