Job 23 12

So last night, I had a late driving lesson that ended near 1 AM . Then I went back out to pick up my brother. I landed back inside my house minutes to three and in my bed after three trying to read the 18th chapter of the Great Controversy. Long story short, I woke up this morning mad early and made breakfast for my aunt and then I came back to bed to "read". LOL. I knew I was going to sleep but I did make an effort to read something. So yeah, I came back to bed around 9 AM and woke up at 12. LOL. I tried to read some more but then I went to help my aunt with her mail. After that, I went downstairs and prepared lunch for my aunt and washed the dishes. Then I went to the computer to read the same 18th chapter of Great Controversy that I have been trying to read since the night before, but I edited my blog. But I wanted to cook something to eat for tomorrow so I put on a sermon to keep my mind stayed on God while I cooked. My nieces and nephews stopped by for a visit and I did not even finish listening to my sermon. Then I had to go rehearse for a play we are doing tomorrow evening. Long story short, I've been chasing God down all day, and it all started when I decided I was entitled to nap because of the time I went to bed last night. Come to find out I'm not entitled to anything that denies me of God. Including myself. Reminds me of my friend, Hanif's video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bml-Z_CB8kQ&feature=related

I starved today. Lesson : Catch your manna early in the morning. It's more valuable than food and, yes, sleep.

Salvation: a right or a privilege?

In my five hour driving class, the instructor discussed the means by which we enter The Driving Society. He asked if driving was a right or a privilege. Of course, clearly, it was a privilege. But before we answered, he wanted us to define the difference between a right and a privilege. The girl who was brave enough to raise her hand in answer to the question, said that a right is something that is guaranteed to you and a privilege is something you have to earn. As soon as she said earn, my mind though about salvation (I'm such preacher's kid, I mean what normal person just thinks about salvation in the middle of their 5 hour class?). As I was thinking about it, I would have thought that Salvation was a privilege because it sounds nicer than right but the answer was staring at me from my paper because like any nerd, I had already written down what was said and what I thought about it. Salvation could not be a privilege because you cannot earn it. Salvation had to be a right. Like the right to vote. You can choose to vote or not but that is your protected right as a citizen of this country over the age of 17. The instructor corrected the girls definition of a right by saying it is something we are entitled to not guaranteed because sometimes our rights are not guaranteed, especially if you are a black man. I thought about how much more our right to salvation is protected than our right to vote has been protected in the past, how much more we are guaranteed salvation than we are entitled the right to vote. You know what really sucks? The majority of people will be lost and not saved, not because the right to salvation is not guaranteed, but because we're more concerned about the physical world we can see, in which our protected right to vote elects a president like Bush, than we are about the spiritual world that we cannot see, in which our right to salvation is merited by Jesus Christ. Food for thought: How can I make the spiritual world more apparent to myself and those around me?

My Spiritual Life: Part 1 ( because I know I won't finish LOL)

It's very easy for me to compartmentalize my life, to put my spiritual life in a corner of my mind, to close God off in a box I only open when I get to church. God, however, should be like a mental epidemic that infects every area of the life.  Every area! My Father says I should view the world spiritually first. Indeed tonight, I must say that I did not see the spiritual detriment of driving late with my instructor. Bad idea! If you're reading this , instructor, yeah, I'm blowing up your spot. I had a friend who used to say he won't talk to girls after 11 PM. I used to think dude was soft. Now, I can see sharply how strong and right on point my dude was. My instructor is cool. But like I've said, it's very hard for me to speak about spiritual things with him.
First, there's the fear that I won't live up to the standard that I profess. Secondly, I figure he's smart enough to pick up on certain things about myself and my religion. Thirdly, I do not usually feel like talking about religious things with him. Bad combination. So yes, I've definitely separated my spiritual life from my driving life, which doesn't make any sense because you would think God would be necessary when I am behind the wheel of a car.  Well, I can't completely separate my spiritual life from driving because it does affect all parts of my life but I do not usually  "glory" in it when I'm being instructed on how to drive. Unfortunately, he must sense my hesitation because his mouth became real reckless after a certain hour.
Long story short, if I was more upfront about what I believe and my standards, he  would have never have  been that reckless. How can my life preach without me opening my mouth? Or when will I just get a backbone and talk about Jesus?

Part 2: Salvation: A right or a privilege?

A Holy Convocation?

In the many times that the Bible talks about the seventh day Sabbath, there is only one verse that says that it should be a holy convocation:
Six days shall work be done: but the seventh day is the sabbath of rest, an holy convocation; ye shall do no worktherein: it is the sabbath of the LORD in all your dwellings. Lev. 23:3


Convocation: a sacred assembly called together http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=H4744&t=KJV


So, we gather together on the Sabbath day, and we go through our process of waking early, dressing up real nice, and then we enter into the sanctuary ( If you're like me, just in time for divine hour.lol) .Then we follow the order of service: sing during the processional, listen to the call to worship, sing the Praise God from whom...., listen to the preacher pray, sing the doxology,  listen to announcements, listen to the pastor welcome, sing the welcome song, Children's story  building fund, Hymns of Praise, Intercessory Prayer, offering, scripture reading, special music, etc. All of this intermingled with standing, sitting and optional kneeling.

As you can probably tell, this sounds like a whole lot of formality. I believe in ordered worship but some things are not necessary in a worship service. Like the ridiculous standing and sitting over and over again. Don't get me wrong! I believe God is worthy of respect. But it is not commanded for us to stand a certain amount of times in worship. Some things are not necessary. And if I am not mistaken, I believe a lot of the things we have in our worship service like the Gloria Patri as our doxology and the standing for the processional are Catholic in origin. Do the extra things make the service holy? I do not believe so. God makes us holy and therefore it is He who makes our services Holy.

The high point of the divine service is " The Preached Word". Oooooh. (sarcasm) Don't get me wrong. I like sermons. And the preaching of the word is necessary.  But I do not believe that our services should center around the preaching. A minority come to Wednesday night prayer meeting, Sabbath school, Bible study and to the the youth programs. The main focus of the attendees is the preaching. Why not make the focus a Bible Study session or a testimony session during the divine hour? Crazy, huh?

Without any actual change in the running of church services, it becomes tradition and ritualistic. As I was visiting this site, http://www.thesabbathchallenge.com/, the writer of the blog makes a list of Sabbath activities, and none of those activities involve going to formal worship session in a church. Now, I do not believe this person is an authority on how Sabbath should be kept, but I believe that it is a rude awakening to those who keep Sabbath by ritually going to church every week. One lady in response to a blog entry spoke about wanting her children to enjoy the Sabbath.  She says,

 "I wanted to make it a very special day for them, not just church and reading the bible. I wanted them to develop an enjoyment for the Sabbath and our wonderful Lord."

When you're dating someone, you do not do the same thing every time you meet them. You do something different and interesting. Starting next month, I'm going to take one Sabbath off from church to do something involving my Creator that is different and interesting. The possibilities are endless. Quite honestly, I hope I do not sleep the whole Sabbath away. LOL. Will I still assemble with believers? Sometime during the day... LOL.

Abide in Christ, Die for Christ Part 2

The martyrs who died in a most cruel way, followed the way of Jesus and they bravely yet meekly gave up their lives. But the only way that we can follow in that route is to be like Jesus. Jesus has to abide in us and we have to abide in Him. Whoa! What do I mean by abide in him? Well how can we follow someone who we know nothing about? We follow him by reading His word. How can we follow someone who we do not speak to? We've got to pray. Now how can I follow someone who does not entertain my thoughts or salt my conversations? We've got to speak and think about Jesus. Abide: to be kept, to remain http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?strongs=G3306&t=KJV&page=2
Remain in Jesus in your thoughts, actions and words. Easier said than done.

My father told my cousin that we have to pray to Jesus every minute of the day. My cousin said that it was impossible to do it every minute of everyday. My father disagreed. While studying the lesson from the quarterly with my aunt, we came across an relating question: If I do not worship all the time, can my worship be truly accepted on Sabbath?  My aunt said, " Well, we have to worship on Sabbath." Wow! Indeed! But I do not blame her because her mind is not always there fully and she probably has her guard up because she was talking to me, the daughter of my father, with whom she used to argue over Sabbath issues. But I quickly corrected her by saying that worship is not delegated to only one day a week, that everything we do should worship and honor God.

As I was speaking to her, my mind went back to a website I saw earlier that week. http://www.thesabbathchallenge.com/ This site was very interesting to say the least. I am seriously re-evaluating my Sabbath experience and the activities I participate in on the Sabbath (like writing on my blog at 12 AM LOL. Not necessarily ungodly, but not too restful). One problem the blogger had was:


"Another area I struggled a little with was keeping my mind focused in
the morning. I kept bringing up daily things to talk about with my
husband, then realizing that I needed to redirect my thoughts toward
God."

But isn't our minds always supposed to be focused on Christ? Even when we are discussing daily problems, isn't Christ supposed to be our focus? How can we remain in Him and be kept by Him if our thoughts are so far from Him? Not only on Sabbath but everyday of the week.

Now I'll admit that my mind is usually very far from Jesus. My problem is simple: I forget about God. My happiest and most endearing reflection is not about the second coming. My thoughts of deepest contemplation are not of the cross. My mind does not think about how awesome the incarnation is. My mind usually thinks, " Been there. Done that." I'm very jaded in that sense. My mind, like I said before is unstable.

This is not a good thing but something my driving instructor said is helping me. He says, " Every three to four seconds, check your back ( the rear view mirror). If you forget, 6, 8, 10, 12 seconds pass, as soon as you remember, check your back."  So when I remember to ponder God's goodness or the life of Jesus or my relationship with Christ, I do.

Now I'll admit that I've ignored that push to think about Godly things. I'll be the first to admit that there are thoughts in my mind that are more exciting and entertaining to me.  But I have to educate my mind to love the things of God. My goal is to be like Jesus. By beholding I can be changed. If my mind does not behold the life of Jesus, how can I be changed into His likeness? If I'm not changed into His likeness, then in the time of persecution, I will most likely reenact the actions of the traitor and not of Christ.

Next Post: A Holy Convocation?

Abide in Christ, Die for Christ

During the middle ages, in France, the reformation, based on the true gospel that was struggling to survive, was horrifically restricted. The Catholics found a Judas for their cause that would lead them to all his fellow protestant believers, who would surely be put to death.

"A poor artisan, an adherent of the reformed faith, who had been accustomed to summon the believers to their secret assemblies, was seized and, with the threat of instant death at the stake, was commanded to conduct the papal emissary to the home of every Protestant in the city. He shrank in horror from the base proposal, but at last fear of the flames prevailed, and he consented to become the betrayer of his brethren." GC, 226

After reading this, I felt so much dislike for this man. My mother tried to convince me to pity his situation (which I'm sure was the more Christlike thought process LOL) but I wasn't having none of it. This Judas led a processional to the houses of all the protestant reformers, from which the occupants were swiftly removed and chained  by soldiers, to be held until their ultimate demise at the stake. But they did not face death with fear.

"There was no pulpit like the martyr's pile. The serene joy that lighted up the faces of these men as they passed along . . .to the place of execution, their heroism as they stood amid the bitter flames, their meek forgiveness of injuries, transformed, in instances not a few, anger into pity, and hate into love, and pleaded with resistless eloquence in behalf of the gospel."--Wylie, b. 13, ch. 20.

In the face of death, serene joy was on their faces. The thought of dying for and in Christ was pleasing. They were heroic in their stance. And like Jesus, forgiving to those who were hurting them. Forgiving?!

The acts of the traitor were outrageous and stirs up feelings of anger. But I must say that the reaction of those martyrs are equally as shocking if not more so. The funny thing is that the acts of the traitor are so human. He sought to protect his own. We all do that. He valued his life more than others, even more than the gospel of Christ. Self preservation is the way of the world.

The church of God will be persecuted . Those who do the will of God will be hated of all men. Jesus said it. The question is which side would I fall in? Will I be willing to give up my life or will I go the way of the world and preserve my life?

Outlets of Hope: Part 2

Almost 10 years ago ( most likely more ), in a meeting with the young people of the church, a lady mentioned that when she has those sexual urges that she puts a pillow between her legs. At the time, I was totally disgusted by the lady's blase attitude. And even when recounting the story years later, I feel a little disgusted. A single woman from church that I admire overheard the story. Her commentary for the story was interesting. She said that she did not have to deal with those urges anymore. I asked her why not. She responded, "I prayed to God to remove them." It was interesting that she would want to remove something that God made her with but as I thought about it more , what need does she have for sexual urges? She is not married and she wants to devote her life to ministry. A sexual urge could only take away from that. And if by chance she gets married down the line, couldn't the same God who turned off the sexual urge turn it back on?

The same can go for my problems. I put too much hope in a future with a man. But if I prayed earnestly enough about it, couldn't it be stopped? Should I stop going places just because men may or may not be there, no matter what other benefits to my spiritual life attending these events might bring? No!! I refuse! Luther prayed three hours a day, in the face of His obstacles. Did he stop going places because it would cause disharmony? No!! Men do not rule my actions. God does and if I need to overcome a problem in my mind, I can trust it with God. Avoiding men won't stop me from fantasizing. I can choose to stop fantasizing and give it too God. God can deliver me from the misdirection of my mind. Men are not outlets for hope. My mind creates the outlet for hope and if you do not know this already, my mind is unstable. But what can be more stable than Jesus? Can I not trust Him with my hope? My friends? My life? My everything? It's one thing to say but now to act it out. Starting out with earnest prayer.
A revival of true godliness among us is the greatest and most urgent of all our needs. To seek this should be our first work. There must be earnest effort to obtain the blessing of the Lord, not because God is not willing to bestow His blessing upon us, but because we are unprepared to receive it. Our heavenly Father is more willing to give His Holy Spirit to those who ask Him, than are earthly parents to give good gifts to their children. But it is our work, by confession, humiliation, repentance, and earnest prayer, to fulfill the conditions upon which God has promised to grant us His blessing (Ellen G. White, True Revival, p. 9; Review and Herald, March 22, 1887).


Next Post: Abide in Christ/ Willing to Die (Haven't decided if I will combine or separate)

Happiness vs. Joy

hap·pi·ness

 

[hap-ee-nis]  Show IPA

noun

1.

the quality or state of being happy.

2.

good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.

joy

 

[joi]  Show IPA

noun

1.

the emotion of great delight or happiness caused bysomething exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure;elation: She felt the joy of seeing her son's success.

2.

a source or cause of keen pleasure or delight; something orsomeone greatly valued or appreciated: Her prose style is apure joy.

3.

the expression or display of glad feeling; festive gaiety.

4.

a state of happiness or felicity.

I've heard that the difference between being happy and being joyful is that something has to happen to make you happy, hence the similar spelling. But joyful is deeper in it's meaning which is probably why you can call the source of pleasure, joy and joy describes the state of being as happiness describes good fortune/luck, which is dependent on circumstances. Joy depends on you, happiness depends on your surroundings.  I am not giving strict meaning for either of the words, nor am I forfeiting what I have previously said. I believe that the English language is fluid and that meanings can change over periods of time. However, based on the distinction I made between happiness and joy, I would like to have joy. 


Jesus said, "These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full." John 15:11


So it is possible for our joy to be full, complete.  I've been told that I have a happy disposition, but based my thoughts and my ability to know myself I would say that my disposition is quite indifferent. When I was younger, I did not want to be the girl who cries because it was not cool to cry. The only thing that really makes me cry is scary things, like recounting a ghost story. So I started by not allowing myself to cry at funerals. And then I just tried to stop crying altogether.  But as I got older, I realized that by cutting off my tears, I also cut off a lot of my smiles. I became emotionally detached to some extent. I found myself wanting to cry and smile. Sometimes now I have to force myself to smile at a happy situation or force my to feel the sadness. Only recently have I felt emotions so strong or overwhelming that tears readily come to my eyes. 


Now these are the words Jesus spoke to His disciples so that their joy may be full:  
"If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love." John 15:10


Wow! So those aren't the only words that precede John 15:11. John 15: 1-10 talks about basically abiding in Christ, the true vine. So our joy may be full if we abide in Christ. Interesting!!! So if I abide in Christ, my joy will be full. Now I define my thoughts mostly as not being so joyful and far from God. Sometimes I find joy in quite morbid things but that is another story. But the idea is that if my mind and my actions and my words are dwelling on Christ and following after His own example ( imitation is one of the greatest shows of honor) then I will have full joy. Following Christ leads to full joy. Now the questions again is asked: How can I focus my mind on Christ, so that my actions and words will follow? 


Earnest prayer: Focus on Jesus!

On the matter of Sleep...

I want to sleep early and wake up early. I realize it affects my witness when I do not sleep on time. But I made an effort today. And then my sister calls, pushing off my exercise by an hour. Then my Father calls pushing off my sleep for an hour. The sad thing is that I let it! Without even thinking about how my witness would be affected, without even thinking that the enemy might be behind this, without even thinking about how my body would react to the lack of sleep, I let it! And now I have to cut my blog short because I refuse to let it happen anymore. Good night!

Blank Slate Syndrome

My friend tells me, in reference to her college life, " I'm the worst Waldenses." LOL. The Waldenses used to use their interactions at school as a way to spread the gospel. I laughed as she said it because I could see the same thing in my life.
While I was on the bus reading the Bible, a man asked me, "Who is Jesus?"  I thought he was joking and eventually he tells me that he knows who Jesus is but he wanted to test me as to what my answer would be. LOL. I failed. I realized that I have nothing to say. My father always speaks in opposition to my religion and I again have nothing too say. My brother gives me a book and I again have nothing to say. If I were a Waldens, I would never be in danger of persecution because I would have nothing to say. It's like I know what is true but I say nothing. I listen to everyone's point of view and I hope that  I do not get influenced but I say nothing at all. I'm reading Great Controversy and I need a dictionary. Not that I feel dumb, but out of touch. My brother, father, Ellen White and the dude on the bus are all up to date and I am obsolete. But's it's more than that!
Not just that I'm obsolete but I'm satisfied being open minded and all, but I have to stop myself from taking it in. Because just as I am open minded, I am just as easily influenced. Someone says the the idea behind being deceived is that you do not know you are being deceived. So I'm studying the Bible and I pray that God will reveal truth to me and give me the strength to stand only on truth.
Part of being open minded and easily influenced is that I care what others think about me. But I just realized something today that is profound. The image that I portray is perceived very differently in the world. People already think things about me that I have not explicitly shown about myself.
I spent a good portion of my life trying to prove to the males in my family that I am not like my mother just to find out that they already categorize me with my mother. Not that I dislike my mother, just the way that she is perceived by the males in my family. Before I even talk, I've already been sized up. Half the time, I believe I shouldn't talk at all. It's already assumed what I would say, and I still try to fight the assumptions. God show me truth to stand upon. Help me to only stand on your truth and not on what image of myself I want to be perceived or is actually perceived. Humble me. Help me not to care what others think of me and to only care what you think of me above all else.

Calling All Risktakers

I recently prayed a prayer. It went, " Lord, reveal to me how I must witness."  Like I have previously stated, I have a burden for souls but no courage or direction. Now, it is important that I tell the events that lead up to the answer of this prayer the day after I prayed this prayer. It was a Saturday night and I had just heard a sermon about how the revival of primitive godliness is needed. I was convicted that I completely lacked in the witnessing area. So I wanted God to show me how and in what way I should witness. About 2 weeks before that, I read that the home religion is very important and that we should first witness to those in the home. Continuously, I had been praying that God would help me to show love to my brothers. Now, my diabetic aunt would pass through my mind, but my mind would quickly breeze pass her. Interestingly enough, I would do things for my aunt and I would mentally pat myself on the shoulder, as if I had done something great.  But to the extent that I would pray that I would love her? More? No that was too much for me. Unfortunately, I was too blind to see what God was trying to say to me. So back to the day after I prayed the prayer. My mother, my aunt and I came home from a walk. My aunt was speaking gibberish and I could not understand her so I left the situation for my mother to deal with. I'm afraid that if you thought of me as being more caring, this story will only further disappoint you. Later, she goes upstairs and lies down in my mother's bedroom. She has NEVER done that before and I was shocked to see her lying there. Apparently, she thought it was her room and she adamantly argued that point. Finally, my mother convinced her to go to her room. Later, that evening while explaining the situation to other family members, it became apparent to me that someone needs to take care of her. And then it was like a light bulb. It was like God saying, " This is the way; walk ye in it." I said "wow" out loud. But my mind processed what was happening and responded, " But I already do more things for her than other people that live in my house. " Not even finished thinking that, God clearly says it's not enough, like there is more required of me, like if Jesus gave up all, why can't I give up all? And out loud I had to say, " Alright, I'll do it!" Now, I must say that I am not always willing and able. Some times I wake up late. Sometimes I do not want to be bothered and I let her have some autonomy. Sometimes, I get frustrated when things do not go my way. Like last Wednesday, my aunt ate a random piece of gum and I was so on the verge of giving up on her. My mother was telling me that this situation is teaching me patience but I was so frustrated that I did not want to hear that. It sounds more wonderful and spiritually insightful now that I am not so frustrated. But I digress. I am not perfect and I screw up at times. But God is good and He is working on me and through me. But what if I had said no to God and decided not to take care of my aunt? I do not what would have happened but I do know that knowing that God is taking care of me is assuring. I do worry and ponder about the future sometimes but I want God to be in control. Right now, I am presented with a book that would cause me to doubt my faith but I'm trusting God as I read. I've also been presented with an idea for a teen bible study, which I have been thinking about for a while and to have it confirmed by someone else is amazing. I've also been presented with time to indulge in Bible Study. I intend to grab it by the horns and run. Giving your dreams, hopes, cares, wants, burdens, etc. to God is amazing, terrifying, difficult and freeing all at the same time. Just like any risk, there is some trepidation for those who are not risktakers but God is calling all of us to be risk takers who live all of their lives for Him.Take the plunge.

Goodie Two Shoes

When I was younger, I was the one in my group of friends who never knew the whole story. Why? Because of fear that there were bits of the story that were just to bad for my ears to hear. So out of perservation of my purity and fear that I would tell someone older, I never knew the whole story. I hated being the odd one out of everything and how no one wanted to tell me what was really going. But I understood why because I had an image. My personality also went along with that image. I was the one that tried to bring WWJD into the situation and honestly I wanted to please and love Jesus. But when I was younger I wanted to do it because it was the right thing to do. Now I want to do it because it is the only way to productively live my life. One of my younger friends unfriended me on facebook. When I asked her why, she said it was because she was doing some bad things on facebook and didn't want her mother to know. Now, honestly, I admire this girl because she is at the ripe age for a perm and yet she has not permed her hair, she wants to model and while that does show a lot of pride, it also shows that she likes the way she looks even though she is dark-skinned. I used to tutor her a few years back so I know she has the attitude of her age group....stink! But still I like the fact that she is real. This unfriending thing is one of the least realest things she has done toward me. But yet it is too real. So I sat her down today and I basically told her that while it hurt me that I was not her friend on facebook (which to me showed the underlying truth that we weren't really true friends), but if it was sin she was hiding from her mom, she shouldn't worry about unfriending me but she should worry about her relationship with God. She basically tells me she hates me. That hurt too. But I came home and I read: "So do all who cherish evil under a profession of godliness hate those who disturb their peace by condemning their course of sin.When a favorable opportunity is presented, they will, like Judas, betray those who for their good have sought to reprove them....They could not long remain in connection with those who were, in habit and disposition, constant representatives of Christ; and as trials and persecution came upon His followers, those only who were willing to forsake all for the truth's sake desired to become His disciples. " GC, 44. I am encouraged by reading that and now I know that our connection/facebook friendship had to break. I love her but if my christian witness (I have a witness!) stands as a disturbance to her peace, what can I do? But if you're going to hide some evil lifestyle, why profess godliness? Why fake being God's when you can truly celebrate your so called "freedom" and live it up in the world without the restraint of a powerless christian persona? I was contemplating not going to my church anymore because I was so hurt by the situation. Then I found a friend and we started having a good conversation. While I'm talking to her, this dude calls us Bible feens (msp?) . My question to the church is aren't we all supposed to be Bible feens? Shouldn't you be worried if you are a christian who does not like the Bible? I embrace my goodie two shoes because if it gives me the right to be call a representative of Christ, then so be it. Amen.
Next: Calling All Risk Takers

My family

"Parents, you should commence to discipline the minds of your children while they are young, to the end that they may be Christians. . . . Beware how you lull them to sleep over the pit of destruction, with the mistaken thought that they are not old enough to be accountable, not old enough to repent of their sins and profess Christ.Children of eight, ten, or twelve years are old enough to be addressed on the subject of personal religion. Do not teach your children with reference to some future period when they shall be old enough to repent and believe the truth. If properly instructed, very young children may have correct views of their state as sinners and of the way of salvation through Christ."  -Something EGW said from somewhere. LOL

I would like my children to be presented with everything pertaining to salvation to the point where they could be able to teach the Bible, rightly dividing the word of truth. Now this, I believe is a dream fostering my hope in God. So therefore I have no problem dreaming it. A reason that I believe that this a dream fostering a hope in God is that it is very hard for me to ponder this dream for long periods of time. LOL, meaning that I am not obsessing over it and it does not take precedence over what God may want for me. Another reason why I believe that I cannot ponder this dream for long periods of time is my lack of knowledge on the topic of raising children. Through my lack of Bible study, I feel ill-prepared, at this moment, to raise children that would be christian examples to the world. Another reason why the dream is super hard for me to ponder for long periods of time is because I have not had a good example. What I want to do with my children, to my knowledge, has not been clearly presented to me. I feel improperly prepared because my family situation growing up to the present time has not been the best.
Now do not get me wrong. I believe that children are a very big part of why we should get married. One of the first commands given to mankind was to be fruitful and multiply. However, I believe the foundation of a good family life is a good marriage between God, the man and the woman. With a good foundation, the children will be able to learn the basics in how to treat their fellow human beings and how to treat God. The reason why I write about this is because my brothers and I , coming from a dysfunctional family, like to think of ourselves as well off. When my Aunty Esther used to complain about us, we used brag about how we weren't like other children on the streets who do drugs, who sell drugs, who gang bang, etc. We made okay grades, and in comparison to our peers, we would excel and succeed. However, there are deeper problems. I can see that my brothers do not know how to treat me as a female. I do not know how to treat them as men, in fact I bad talk men every chance I get, although this is something I am trying to stop. We do not pray together or worship together. There is so much spiritual confusion among us three that we each have our own religion and to be quite honest none of them entirely fit into Seventh Day Advent ism or Christianity. We each honestly believe that the other does not have life right and yet we would do the bare minimum to help the other. Because we respect the individuality of the other person. We live independently from each other and soon we will carve our own paths in the world and plant families of our own and if God does not intervene, the next generation will be the same. God, save my children

Men: Outlets for Hope

I had a dream this morning in which a male friend of mine admitted his feelings for me. I, of course, kissed him ( not in that order) but while the dream was nice, it was disturbing and for this to be the first dream in a while that I remember when I wake, I was troubled by it. I have never pictured this male in this way. I believe this dream is a fleshy kind and speaks strongly of my carnal nature. While nothing bad really happened, I have recently been training my self to not ponder the future especially when it comes to men. I tend to put my hopes in these dreams and fantasies and while they are not bad, pondering these things strengthen my hope and trust in these events occurring for real. But the Bible says

 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,

And whose hope is the LORD.
For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters,
Which spreads out its roots by the river,
And will not fear when heat comes;
But its leaf will be green,
And will not be anxious in the year of drought,
Nor will cease from yielding fruit.”

Jeremiah 17:7-8

So I find that this dream is just fostering something else for me to hope in. There are things that  I have decided to forego because I know certain men in, which my mind has fostered hope in, will be a motivation. I do not want that to be my motivation so I pray that my motivation is only to please God and not myself. Which is why I forego. For example, I have decided not to take the medical missionary 10 day course because I am sure some man will be there and now I have to forego something else because the guy in my dream will be there. Sad story! My motivation was so far from putting my hope in a future with this guy  but that dream has changed the motivation  a teensy tiny bit. LOL. I am not going to forego these events. Unless the hope still shows itself to be reinforced as time progresses but I believe if I pray for God to help me to abide in him and not to foster hope in these men, I'm sure He will do it. Another reason to pray is also for those who have fostered hope in me. I believe I have been acting in a mean way towards a guy so hopes will not be fostered. The big problem is that I don't remember praying about the situation and without even trying I just got  an attitude with dude for no reason. Funny thing is that I did not even notice it until he told me that I was having an attitude with him. The real funny thing is that a lot of that meanness is who I am. Only after coming off the phone with him did I finally put all the pieces together. My  automatic reaction was just to be mean. Now if I had prayed about it, I could have treated the situation differently but without prayer, I was left to rely on my mean habits and attitude. This is what I have deduced: Never stop praying 1 Thess. 5:17 because there will always be other outlets for your hope. Abide in Jesus, the only hope.