Blank Slate Syndrome

My friend tells me, in reference to her college life, " I'm the worst Waldenses." LOL. The Waldenses used to use their interactions at school as a way to spread the gospel. I laughed as she said it because I could see the same thing in my life.
While I was on the bus reading the Bible, a man asked me, "Who is Jesus?"  I thought he was joking and eventually he tells me that he knows who Jesus is but he wanted to test me as to what my answer would be. LOL. I failed. I realized that I have nothing to say. My father always speaks in opposition to my religion and I again have nothing too say. My brother gives me a book and I again have nothing to say. If I were a Waldens, I would never be in danger of persecution because I would have nothing to say. It's like I know what is true but I say nothing. I listen to everyone's point of view and I hope that  I do not get influenced but I say nothing at all. I'm reading Great Controversy and I need a dictionary. Not that I feel dumb, but out of touch. My brother, father, Ellen White and the dude on the bus are all up to date and I am obsolete. But's it's more than that!
Not just that I'm obsolete but I'm satisfied being open minded and all, but I have to stop myself from taking it in. Because just as I am open minded, I am just as easily influenced. Someone says the the idea behind being deceived is that you do not know you are being deceived. So I'm studying the Bible and I pray that God will reveal truth to me and give me the strength to stand only on truth.
Part of being open minded and easily influenced is that I care what others think about me. But I just realized something today that is profound. The image that I portray is perceived very differently in the world. People already think things about me that I have not explicitly shown about myself.
I spent a good portion of my life trying to prove to the males in my family that I am not like my mother just to find out that they already categorize me with my mother. Not that I dislike my mother, just the way that she is perceived by the males in my family. Before I even talk, I've already been sized up. Half the time, I believe I shouldn't talk at all. It's already assumed what I would say, and I still try to fight the assumptions. God show me truth to stand upon. Help me to only stand on your truth and not on what image of myself I want to be perceived or is actually perceived. Humble me. Help me not to care what others think of me and to only care what you think of me above all else.