The Shadow Universe Me.

I've taken a role in life in which I do not actively pursue any direct path but I leave myself very open for many different options. If God presents it to me, I should say yes and if it is not presented to me I should not fight for it because it isn't mine. This has left me in an ambiguous state. I'm a go with the flow type of person and I'll try things if directed towards me. But I tend to be very indecisive when many options come my way. My final decision usually doesn't go too much against the grain. I was just thinking about writing a character that would live my life in a complete opposite direction than I. She would be impulsive and initiating and unafraid of hurting others. She would be super intelligent and make decisions logically and wisely, always considering God first. She would stand strong for what she believed to be true and she would not be easily swayed by others, no matter how much she cared for them. She would be strong, confident and optimistic. She be would ambitious and disciplined.  Super sucky that this person is not me. Is it too late to change?