How come you never tried to convert me?

So it's been a while and it's really late but I have to write or I never will. Lol! Remember ? I'm undisciplined. So yeah, I'm impressed to talk about my witness.
I was watching a sermon by Ivor Myers "The Blueprint: Earth's Final Movie  and in the sermon he talks about what we should be doing in the christian life using the sanctuary as a pattern. Prayer : altar of incense, Bible Study: Bread of the presence, Witnessing: the candlestick. I realized that I lack in the witnessing area. I know so much about the Bible, I talk to God but my witness lacks. I was at the nail salon today and I remembered a time when I was in seventh grade and I was showing off my nail polish to my friends. ( By the way, never going back to a nail salon again) One of those friends were not SDA. When, I finally told her in the eighth grade that I am an SDA (mind you it is an SDA school) she was shocked. She couldn't believe me she thought that I went to church on Sunday. She had to look at my un-pierced ears for the proof.  This is not the only time it has happened. But since I was very young, I always had the belief  that I did not have to say anything about Jesus for people to see Jesus in me. I believed that people would just see it. But it's more than that. I do not talk about Jesus. As I'm heading to the nail salon today, I met my friend on the train today, who is SDA and as I'm leaving the train on my stop, he says, " Maybe I'll visit your church sometime!" I realized that I spoke with him for the whole time and I didn't talk about Jesus or church or religion at all.  I am so silent when it comes to Jesus. Someone else has to bring it up. My driving instructor picked me up from church and he asked me the question, "How come you never tried to convert me to your religion?"  I was shocked. I didn't know what to say. I was so tongue twisted. Now I feel like I have to continue the driving lessons just so that he learn more through me about ] Christ. I do not actively seek the lost. I hope that they may see Jesus in me and I say nothing. Do they see Jesus in me then? That's another convo for another night. I heard a sermon by Pastor Cameron Bowen ( so going to name one of my children Cameron) He was talking about how a lot of the young people in the church left and how it is the job of the church to get the young people back. My friends who left the church, did I ever talk to them about my relationship with Christ? Did I ever try to convert them? But to bring the point home, my christian friend has been my christian friend since the end of high school ( about 7 years) and I've told her about my religious denomination in a by the way kind of way. I've given her books to read that I like (Steps to Christ, ten commandments twice removed,etc). She recently decided to visit my church, last weekend (hurricane weekend so she did not come), I was like sure. Why is she more adamant about her coming than me? Why is my witness so passive and quiet? Why can't I love Jesus enough that I can't help talking about him? I want to love Him. Is that even right to say? Does anyone understand me when I say that I want to love Jesus? Does it make sense that a christian of over 10 years is saying I want to love Jesus?


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