My Friend Sharlene

She is a psychologist and she is very smart. NO college degree but she is better than that. She is a blessing to my life. I mean who spends a whole conversation listening and not speaking? She does. She tells me I'm growing up. AAAHHHHHH! I don't wanna grow up! I'm a Toys'r'us kid! ggggrrrrrrrrr! She tells me it's good to be more self aware and to know who you are. gggggrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  She tells me that I got to be more proactive!! ggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Responsibility Priorities and grown up stuff. Everyone will take me seriously and really consider my point of view. You Suck world for making me grow up and lose my innocent child like ways. I really would like to be a child again. I thought about things too much and I didn't really have fun. I wasn't free as children should be. I was burdened, happy yes but burdened. Back to Sharlene. She's into Jesus and she is motivating. She said I was speaking in circles. I think I do that so I never say what I really feel. I think I've built up these walls around feelings, these taboos about things. It is very hard for me to plainly express myself. Why do I feel a certain way? Or what ideas do you have for this? Or what do you think about...? My mind literally comes up with a blank. Empty and I do not know  and when I finally have an answer I say many things and eventually downplay my own thoughts. I doubt myself and what others may or may not think of me. That's sadder than I thought. Because my brain is wired to work this way. My mind goes blank and then I take too many words to express my idea and then when it finally comes out I down play it. Or is that just how I am? Am I a ditz? LOL!! No I'm not. I'm not claiming that but Sharlene is right or maybe I'm too lazy to think...NAH! I probably think too much. Because how do you do that? How does one make their brain work this way? You have to think too much in order for that to happen. Dr. Sharlene John when is our next therapy session?