If I got with you...

I would disappoint you and myself.
I would wonder if I'm enough.
I would wonder what is wrong with my mind for choosing you.
I would try to be something I'm not to please you.
I would wonder if God would be pleased with me for being with you.
I would neglect God to be with you.
I would be so emotional.
I would hate you for making me that way.
I would wonder if you were settling for me or if I were settling for you.
I would never be enough for myself because I know what you want and it ain't me.
Please tell my heart and make it believe that it would be wrong if I got with you because I do not know how to act or what to say around you and I'm afraid to be me around you and the fact is that even though I shouldn't be with you, my heart doesn't know what shouldn't means and my heart hates you for it.
I would be a utter mess
I would fail you miserably
I would fall hopelessly
if I got with you.

CNM May 31, 2011